yesterday i threw out his shower gel. it is sitting in my wastepaper basket in my bathroom. in the shower yesterday i smelled it one last time and placed it in the little basket next to the shower. it has been sitting in my bathtub for almost a month now. i tried to throw it out once before, but couldn't. it lingers in my wastepaper basket now. letting go takes years. maybe i could keep the shower gel forever, i wonder if it would keep. his scent and the memory of him. a small green bottle of strongly scented shower gel that cost less than $4.99. it would be progress to get rid of it, it is only an object, right? things don't mean anything, that is what we are supposed to think. i think?